I hold that the important thing to consider when reading any sort of material is to gain an understanding of the ideas existing within the subtext. This often is quite easy to do, but sometimes it’s hard to gauge exactly what is meant by certain works of writing. I always have to remind myself of this, because it seems that words are just so easily forgotten. Really it doesn’t even have to be writing, it can be what people say, as long as it involves specific words. What’s important is to understand the ideas behind the words and letters. This can be difficult to understand because often so much emphasis is placed in our society on getting the “exact” term correct, depending on certain situations. It truly is beautiful in the end, though, knowing that you already understand the ideas of what was conveyed, whether or not you remember the specific term that was used.
I really do believe there is a reason for everything. It might not seem like it in the pressure of the moment, but eventually things do start to make sense. A few years back I was experiencing unusual memory-related issues, and those really made me wonder about why certain things were happening or not happening. Some good friends of mine constantly reminded me that even though it may seem like you’re “stuck” in a particular place, with too much stress and almost nowhere to go, this actually isn’t the case at all. They said people are stronger than they realize, most of the time. That piece of advice definitely has proven helpful in my many experiences. One person said that how you “react” has the effect of determining everything. I do believe in something similar, although I tend to place more emphasis on how people “act” as opposed to how they “react”, simply because it seems more true to me when it comes to making decisions or applying knowledge. I always remind myself of this when times seem rough and scary.
Well, I am glad to say that I’ve been recovering from last week’s surgery quite nicely. Again, while I was under the general anesthesia, I had a pleasant sensation that I was merely daydreaming without a lot of the pain. This time I perceived being with awesome people while at the same time making beautiful music. I woke up and was a little tired, but apparently that’s normal after every surgery. Then the recovery began. Thankfully, I’ve been surrounded by loved ones the entire time. At times it has been extremely painful, but I have the drive to just push on and get through this the best I can. I look forward to one day being able to eat normal food!
This week I’m scheduled to have the fifth surgery so far in my life. I’m actually kind of excited for this one, as it’s supposed to take away a lot of the pain I’ve been having recently. It’ll be done under general anesthesia, which I know tends to give a lot of people the jitters, but really I’m not that worried. I’ve been under general anesthesia before, and this might sound crazy, but it was not a bad experience at all. It actually seemed like I was dreaming/daydreaming, minus a lot of the pain generally involved in surgery. I’ve been researching, and it appears some people have no memory while being under, while other people in fact do have memories of being under. I guess this just shows how incredibly different each of our minds is. Of course, there is always the risk of something going bad with the surgery. I’m trying to remain positive here.