I really do believe there is a reason for everything. It might not seem like it in the pressure of the moment, but eventually things do start to make sense. A few years back I was experiencing unusual memory-related issues, and those really made me wonder about why certain things were happening or not happening. Some good friends of mine constantly reminded me that even though it may seem like you’re “stuck” in a particular place, with too much stress and almost nowhere to go, this actually isn’t the case at all. They said people are stronger than they realize, most of the time. That piece of advice definitely has proven helpful in my many experiences. One person said that how you “react” has the effect of determining everything. I do believe in something similar, although I tend to place more emphasis on how people “act” as opposed to how they “react”, simply because it seems more true to me when it comes to making decisions or applying knowledge. I always remind myself of this when times seem rough and scary.
Well, I am glad to say that I’ve been recovering from last week’s surgery quite nicely. Again, while I was under the general anesthesia, I had a pleasant sensation that I was merely daydreaming without a lot of the pain. This time I perceived being with awesome people while at the same time making beautiful music. I woke up and was a little tired, but apparently that’s normal after every surgery. Then the recovery began. Thankfully, I’ve been surrounded by loved ones the entire time. At times it has been extremely painful, but I have the drive to just push on and get through this the best I can. I look forward to one day being able to eat normal food!
This week I’m scheduled to have the fifth surgery so far in my life. I’m actually kind of excited for this one, as it’s supposed to take away a lot of the pain I’ve been having recently. It’ll be done under general anesthesia, which I know tends to give a lot of people the jitters, but really I’m not that worried. I’ve been under general anesthesia before, and this might sound crazy, but it was not a bad experience at all. It actually seemed like I was dreaming/daydreaming, minus a lot of the pain generally involved in surgery. I’ve been researching, and it appears some people have no memory while being under, while other people in fact do have memories of being under. I guess this just shows how incredibly different each of our minds is. Of course, there is always the risk of something going bad with the surgery. I’m trying to remain positive here.
Lately I’ve been experiencing quite a few health issues. I often sense that I’m under a lot of pressure and pain. I’ve been asking myself a lot lately why people in general have to feel pain. There must be some kind of reason for it. I believe a sense of accomplishment often accompanies the emergence of pain. As in, hey, the fact I’ve suffered so much and yet I’m still here is definitely something to be proud of. At least I would hope most people see the good with pain in a manner similar to this. In the meantime, I will continue to remain hopeful through all this pressure, realize I’m not alone, and understand that the issues I’m going through mean something.
What I find so interesting and beautiful about life is how cyclical everything behaves. This can be found in the seasons, which from year to year always cycle in a recognizable pattern. It can also be seen in days, constantly alternating between daylight and nighttime. The water of earth continually cycles from flowing to the oceans to being evaporated and precipitated down to the ground again. The life cycle of a plant is seen from the seed, to the mature plant, to the release of new seeds. The rhythmic spasms of an orgasm display beautifully a cyclical pattern. There is a constant cycle between people resting and being active throughout the day. The earth itself as well as other planets are always orbiting around the sun. The human body breathes in and out in a circular mechanism from time to time. The moon is continuously orbiting around the earth as well. The cyclical nature of life is seen in the back and forth motion of waves, including electromagnetic waves. “Blinking” of the eyes appears to be cyclical as well, from open to closed every now and again. Blood “beating” throughout the human body seems to cycle in a never-ending manner. The sun and other stars are always orbiting around the center of their galaxy. These examples of cycles really demonstrate to me the awesomeness and cyclicality in life.
I’ve always wanted to visit Egypt. Mainly for the history, but also just to take in the sights and sounds of an exotic and arguably enchanted locale. Of course, the highlight would have to be the Pyramids of Giza. Not only is the Great Pyramid the oldest of the Seven Wonders of the Ancient World, it is the only one of them still left relatively intact. There are so many interesting theories surrounding the Pyramids, such as who built them, why they were built, and how long it took to have them built. It would be awesome to finally see them, and perhaps go inside one of them. I also wouldn’t mind seeing the camels or the beauty of the Nile River. Maybe on the same vacation I could somehow visit the Sahara and see some oases there. And on this same vacation it would be nice to journey also south of the Sahara and go on a safari. I’ve been on some Disney safaris, but to go on the real thing would be incredible. I’d enjoy seeing the elephants, giraffes, ostriches, and zebras.
When I was eight, I began taking piano lessons. I continued taking lessons through 2009. Nowadays, I find that playing the piano has tremendous therapeutic and mental benefits. Whenever I’m under a lot of pressure, or the day has been rough, it always helps to just sit at the piano and play a tune. Lately I’ve been experimenting with writing my own stuff, although I do enjoy playing classical music every now and then. Some of my favorite composers are Beethoven, Bach, Mendelssohn, Chopin, Schumann, and Schubert. There is so much energy, passion, and romance in some of the olden days’ music.
When I was younger, sometimes a song from the radio or from a movie would get stuck in my mind for what seemed like hours, if not days. This caused an immense amount of pain. I literally would have headaches because of the negative stimulation that it would cause. I found that playing the piano always seemed to get rid of it somehow. To this day, when an ugly song gets stuck in my mind, it helps tremendously to play the piano and kind of work out a tune that will stay and provide relief. I’m so thankful for my piano.
I write on a black slab of metal that has four corners and a strong support system. My planner lies not too far away, and that has many unsightly markings crisscrossed all over it. A pen lies on top of it. A bright and cheery window greets me as I look up from the screen. A sturdy, shiny printer lies on top of another black slab. Behind me are some folders arranged in no particular order. Three drawers filled with tools and office supplies stand at the corner of the room. Outside the building are gorgeous rows of flowers and plants. Birds are sure to be seen on any sunny or even rainy day. A few trees guard the entrance and provide a welcoming shade. There is a nice hill standing to the side and yielding magnificent bushes.
The fact of the matter is: magic is real. Of course, this may very well depend on one’s definition of “magic”. I usually take it to mean that which is seemingly beyond the current laws of physics. All you have to do to witness it is look at Nature. Just go outside and look at the landscapes, animals, and plants. Very soon it becomes obvious. It can also be seen in our interactions with one another. The way we communicate both verbally and non-verbally are huge clues into the power of this incredible force. Ideas we had in the past about what constituted the “reality” of things have certainly sometimes changed. For example, some ancient peoples believed the world was flat. Likewise, ideas we have now concerning physics and scientific principles may very well change in the future. What some of us may consider to be “supernatural” or mysterious now can actually one day be widely accepted as “fact”. It’s important for me, personally, to look toward Nature and believe in the seemingly impossible as often as possible.
When I was six, there was an instance when I was lost at the mall. It’s an interesting story. Some weeks prior, I had been reading a book that talked about how children should react to different situations. It included things like how children should save their pennies and allowances in order to practice good saving, how it is always important to look both ways before crossing the street, and what children should do when they find themselves lost in public. The book clearly stated that when you’re lost, it’s important to just stay wherever you are so that it’s easier for family/friends to find you. So, I guess that fact just really stayed with me. When my family and I were at the mall, we were walking around trying to find some good stores to shop in. All of a sudden, I realized my socks had to be pulled higher. I was an unusual child, to say the least. Although I admit I’m still peculiar in many different ways. So, I reached down and pulled my socks higher. When I looked back up, I couldn’t find my family anymore. At first I was shocked, and then I was scared. I remembered what the book said about being lost in public. So, I just kind of stood there, in the middle of all the strangers walking around, wishing for some kind of miracle. None of the adults seemed to care one bit. After a few minutes, I started believing I was looking funny just standing there not doing much of anything, so I made my way to the nearest bench. After all, it wasn’t that far. And I just sat there, kind of looking around. There was an electronics store close to the bench, I remember that. There was also a staircase not too far away. I wondered if my family had gone up the staircase, or something. Maybe they had gone to get the police in order to try and find me. It seemed like another ten minutes went by, and then I saw my family coming down the staircase. They noticed me sitting on the bench, and we reunited.